“Turn of phrase” is my favorite turn of phrase. That stupid sentence has been running through my head on repeat for about a week.

I wear my Cracker shirt too much. Does anyone know that’s a band when I’m wearing the shirt? And I always realize I’m wearing it at really inappropriate times. Packed Mexican restaurant? Fan-tastic.

Eyelashes are there to keep things from falling in my eye… but the only thing that ever falls in my eye are eyelashes. Tidy little loop, that.