Well sure it does.

Thing I learned this week: The Ross Dress for Less in Denver reeks of weed.

I just got back from a trip to Denver and Salt Lake City- and it was yet another one of my stellar planning jobs for business trips. Why is that you say? Oh just the fact that I seem incapable of remembering that just because it is 70 degrees here DOES NOT MEAN IT WILL BE IN DENVER JESUS PACK A JACKET FOR ONCE!!! (second time this has happened)

So, there I was in a Ross on Tuesday night, getting a fleece jacket so I don’t absolutely freeze to death on this trip. (Good thing I did- it snowed in SLC) And it reeked of weed… in the baby section. I don’t know what else I expected. I really don’t.

But I seem to have a real trend going of forgetting important items on business trips. Like the one before this where I got to ride around with the Marriot shuttle driver at 11pm trying to find some contact solution (a gas station didn’t have any, but we finally found a Walgreens I could run into). He was from Jamacia and had been in the US 6 years. When I asked him how he liked it here he seemed terrified to answer but stuttered out an  “It’s GREAT!” Though it was obvious the subtext was: “Oh god what is the right answer here..what the hell!” You’re in Dallas, TX dude, I get it. Back to general platitudes and small talk.

I’ve forgotten toothpaste on trips. Tooth brushes. Often forget a hairbrush. Never seem to remember hair ties. Or socks. ALWAYS forget Q-tips… the list goes on.

But I must tell you NOTHING beats the time I wore my cowboy boots on the plane (they’re a pain to get off to get through security, but needed the space in my carry-on)… and forgot to pack my boot jack. And I of course forgot that feet and ankles swell on planes. I was THIS close to walking down to the front desk and having the kid behind the counter pull my boot off for me later that night. I was stuck in boots for about 20 minutes, furiously hopping around my hotel room trying to get them off. I would have done it too, but I did finally get them off. Can you imagine? I would have just been doing my part to reinforce the national perceptions of Texans as total jackasses.

“Well ‘schuse me there, Buddy- mind helping’ me outta these here shitkickers? I’d me mighty ‘bliged.” *Ptew!*

That last bit was me spitting into a spittoon.

In case that wasn’t clear.


One thought on “Well sure it does.

  1. Science the shit out of it C-Q’

    ‘Hi Lauren, it’s a McGuiver fix on the feet stuck in the Cowboy boot situation here if I may; ‘I use to have to deal with Stuck foot when wearing my Justin boots in the Desert’ but I love them enough because once broken in, they fit like a glove. If you’re at a Hotel, have room service bring you a Champagne Ice bucket, with or minus the Champagne or a bottle of favorite White wine, tip server’, (remove the Bottle and indulge to ease the stress of traveling), then as the room is clean upon your arrival, remove the Plastic bag trash liner from the ‘plastic bathroom rubbish can’, fill liner bag with the Ice, tie a knot in the plastic bag, or use dental floss and tie off, and sit on the bed or floor and lay the ice pack on top of your cowboy boot top of arches and sides of heals, over the foot until swelling has subsided and you can ease your little feet on out.

    ‘If you are at a Motel, there is most often an Ice machine down the hall, where upon you can fill the Plastic tub and bring it back to your room use the ice method. In a last resort tie off a plastic rubbish bag around your foot as high up as possible and very carefully soak the booted foot in a chilled low water level filled bathtub; You gotta MacGyver / Science the shit out of the traveling situations sometimes.


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