So the day after we got back from New York was the start of school for my girls- and so life got REALLY busy, really fast. And I got sick. Probably Covid, thought the home test was negative. And then I got better. And then I got sick again (that I’m currently on antibiotics for and muscling through) with walking pneumonia. And an ear infection. AND a tonsil infection.
Lets be VERY clear- I totally would have eaten it during the Spanish influenza; I’m so susceptible to secondary pneumonia after I get sick. So is my oldest. And so was my mom. Maybe it’s linked to that middle name Catherine we all share… who knows. But anyway it is super not fun.
I am fine though- aside from the whole “miserably sick” thing. And I AM going to have to catch up in a multitude of posts… I have 80 pictures to share from the past month… It’s too many. The heavy lift of the catch up post was already setting in reluctance to write it, and that just keeps growing.
So! Done instead of Perfect- lets get one in the books here, and you know what… maybe I leave New York mostly to another post. Because it was so good for my girls at their grief camp. And it was so good for me, being a person out in the great wide world and feeling whole again, finally. And what a contrast to my “half a person, shouldering misery” I brought to it the year before, you know? The lights are back on fully in my life. There is joy everywhere, again. There is sadness too, and all is not constant roses and thats okay these days. And I miss Lucas and always will. But I can carry it easier and be fully grateful for my life- even the hard and bad parts. I would not be me, right now, without all of this. And that isn’t the reason anything bad happened, but it is what I built after it all… and I am proud of my creation, I tell you what.
Anyway. We’ll cover that another time. I need a lower stakes start to this all.
First up though- I changed my blog theme as it was time for a refresh. (Its the “cutting bangs” of blogging.) Y’all lemme know if anything looks wonky on your end.
Also- to any bloggers- WordPress says I’m running out of storage but the only upgrade option is FIFTY DOLLARS A MONTH. What are y’all doing? Deleting old posts? Is there some way to reduce the storage a site is using? Inquiring minds want to know and have done zero independent research on because it’s not at critical mass yet but it is getting there so I am thinking about starting to think about it.
And so! Lets just drop some random, out of order stuff in here so I don’t overwhelm.
First up: Cats.
My four boys cats are set to become the official Council of Eunuchs around here as the (former) kittens are getting neutered on the 21st. They haven’t started spraying, but they HAVE figured out the cat door… so I need them to not be out chasing tail and getting in fights.
It took me far to long to realize I only have grey cats and black cats now. And boy do they self divide into the sweetest cuddliest boys and the standoffish ones who then throw themselves at you for manic biscuit making and headbutts for 5 minutes, every 3 days.
Team Grey Cat.
Team Black Cat.
(I’ll let you figure out which is which, on the overarching behaviors. )
Also Team Black Cat is not as cohesive as Team Grey Cat… there is more internal ass-whooping going on in that team, and yet it’s so well deserved I find myself nodding along to the well placed rabbit kicks to the little black face every time it happens. And it happens pretty regularly.
The way I talk about him you wouldn’t think I love him as much as I do.
It was also my birthday in August. I am 47. Which… huh. Has it been so long since Lucas died? I was 44 when it happened. Also- is that always going to be the default point in my life I measure from from here on out? I have a feeling it will be.
I like my 40s (with that one period of a couple years there excluded). I like being this me, in this body, soooo much more than the versions of me I was in my 20s or 30s. And so 47… I am good with it.
I officially turned 47 in New York and my 17 year old and I had the biggest, hour long laugh fest- like tears streaming and side clutching the night of the 16th and into the first part of the 17th. My oldest (who started her college classes for this year and didn’t come with us to New York) sent me the NICEST, LONGEST text right at the strike of midnight. My cousin and I had an amazing day- will tell you about it on my New York wrap up.
I started the day 23 floors up on the balcony with coffee and listened to the recording of Lucas singing the song he always played me on my birthday; and I sobbed into my hands as one is apt to do in this situation. And then… I just went on to have a good day. The tragedy and the joy are not mutually exclusive. Birthdays will always have that dark hole in the center of them for me; but it was good to hear his voice again too.
When I got back from New York, and we could all celebrate together in person, my amazing children and I did dinner and hung out and they got me amazing gifts.
They went to a pottery painting place and made me plates. Sneaky sneaky… I have no idea when they did that!
They got me two more of my favorite handblown tumblers from Wimberley glassworks- which is about an hour away from our town- these were a blue one and the multicolored pink one you see there and those things are not cheap. And my oldest got me that AMAZING sodalite and sterling silver ring I’m wearing too. Very witchy feeling to wear something that big- I love it. They really don’t have to pull out all the stops like they do, but bless them, you know?
And as one of the MANY things I got myself for my birthday (its almost obscene how many things I got myself) is this big jackrabbit metal garden art.
It was a good birthday.
I also, when I got back, got my other shoulder tattoo done. I went in to San Antonio early last Friday to beat the traffic and had a michelada at Mi Tierra and nosed around market square for a bit ahead of my appointment.
And then here’s me during and after.
Was I not in the right headspace on this one? I swear to god I never got into the flow of it all and so just white knuckled it through… it was way more painful than the other side because of that. This is the symbol of 3 heart’s off one of my ancestors gravestones in Castroville. It’s my favorite headstone.
And so now my tattoo epaulets and opera gloves are pretty much done. I have nothing on my biceps and I plan to keep it this way. My 17 year old (who wants to be a tattoo artist herself) says she’s never seen this particular pattern on anyone and she likes it. High praise from the teenager contingent, I say.
And then I came back from a night out a few days later… and the house was 88 degrees. The kids had turned it down to 60 once it started getting hot, so I turned the system off overnight (in case it was a freezing of the lines issue) and then went and did the standard things early the next morning. These included:
Changing the filter with much cursing as I have to get the big inside ladder out as its way up in the ceiling. Taking the big outside heavy ladder and climbing in the exterior access door to the attic space to pour bleach down the lines at 6am. More cursing. Standing up and impaling my shoulder on a rusty roof nail. More cursing. Calling my doctor to find out when my last tetanus shot was. Using a shop vac to clear out the line. None of that working. More cursing. Expensive ass AC company visit to replace a capacitor. Relief (short lived). Followed by 4 more days of the AC not working because the coils needed to be cleaned and so water was pouring out of my ceiling.
IT WAS SUCH A SAGA Y’ALL.
We all slept in my room for a few nights (more than a few as labor day weekend was in there) as it has a separate mini split AC unit- and so I was thankful to have it and things so could have been worse as we were able to be comfortable, even if we were cramped. But lets not sugar coat it. They sure as shit could have been better too!
Oh and when I bitch about having to climb into the attic space to get to the AC unit… please just know this is way more annoying and precarious than it sounds.
Let me tell you how badly I need to go back and reread some Aesops fables or something- because with the fiscal irresponsibility of throwing financial caution to the wind in New York, and indulging in retail therapy for my birthday week, and then getting a new, larger tattoo at the same time as doing a big bathroom remodel… woof. I am very much the grasshopper needing to learn more about preparing for the cold upcoming seasons around here. So the AC stuff didn’t really come at the world’s best time for ye old bank account.
Speaking of the bathroom, though: the bathroom remodel is in the final stages- I’ll be posting updates on that soon, too. My old clawfoot tub is now in one of my friend’s backyard where she’s going to put up string lights and use it for some moonlit soaking- which I love for it and her, both. And I know that almost sounds like something I’d be into, but no. Every bath I take has to be hot enough to cook a chicken in, and my backyard is not as private as hers… so off it went to new and greener pastures for it’s second life.
Let’s see, we’ll get random with it, now.
It came up in conversation with one of my younger friends the true ugliness of the 90s and early 2000s when it came to design.
This was the exact comforter and shower curtain Lucas had when I moved in with him in 1999. Before that in my first apartment in Austin I ALSO had that comforter, but in the green color-way. I forget what we had at that place as a shower curtain but I think it was just a clear liner, honestly.
It is truly, and deeply shocking to me how prevalent this design was. I went to many parties (one a handcuff party I will be giving zero additional details on) that had that shower curtain and that I can extrapolate also had the matching bedding. I had 3 friends I can remember who also had that bedding.
FUCKING WHY?!
Did we all feel grownup with that set or something? Like my god it was everywhere.
My oldest two girls and I went to a sound-bath meditation on the Blanco River recently, too. It was SPECTACULAR.
You are on specially built kayaks you can lay down in and you paddle out as near or as far as you want and then anchor down. The meditation instructor and the instruments are all done from a dock with a ton of fire and tiki torches on it. The wind. The stars. The reflection of the fire. The lapping of the water on a boat, and the gentle rocking as you’re laying down on it. The “being a person out here, enjoying these few spins around the sun we are afforded”… ah it was great. We all felt AWESOME afterwards. What a time.
We also, at the end of August, went and saw Social Distortion in concert- my forth time and the girls first. I LOVE these guys and that Lucas introduced me to them. The first concert of theirs I went to was over 20 years ago and that was where I crowd surfed for the first time- and turns out I was pregnant with Lily (I did not know at that point) so I’m really glad no one dropped me. Technically that also makes it the first time she went crowd surfing too… thought that was more in a submarine type situation for her.
This one was outside, but a cool venue and the views of the capitol and sunset were great. It was an amazing show and a great time with the girls. And it was good to see Mike Ness singing in spite of his hardships getting his voice back after tonsil and throat cancer.
And now, friends, I am losing my steam, you know- being sick with pneumonia will do that to a person. So some memes for ya and a promise to be back and posting sooner than this one took to get up for the rest of the updates on like: Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Oh and also this is really good on avocado toast and no, I don’t feel bad about dropping that gasp inducing pic of the piece from the Met. Is how I roll.
No eggs needed. This is the best topping I’ve ever found for avocado toast.
Okay NOW I’m done!
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