Divination Cards: Tarot, Oracle, and Lenormand Cards… and some advice on using the different systems

Lauren Leave a comment

I remember in the first or second month of grief wishing I could just get some advice, the second I wanted it. That not being able to bounce all these decisions off someone kinda sucked and that not being able to ask all the questions I had in the dark of night (both literal and figurative) for an outside opinion was torture.

And the vast, vast majority of people around me were doing this very sweet thing when I did ask them questions where they were telling me: “Whatever you want. It’s whatever you want to do. Anything is fine. There are no wrong decisions. You’re life’s most perfect angel and whatever you choose is correct!” No one wanted to give opinions. No one wanted to tell me no. That shit was infuriating, because I WANTED someone to set some goddamn bumpers here! But bless them, they meant well. Few wanted to tell me what to do, and for once in my life I wanted them to! And the few that would tell it to me straight were not available for every dark night of the soul, be it 3am or 3pm on any random Tuesday.

My brother’s girlfriend at the time was the one who suggested tarot cards for this. And I remember going- sure. That’s weird but this was when I was saying yes to things, so off to the crystal shop in town we went- no research done. I think we were out the door in 20 minutes after she brought it up.

I remember being out of my element. Not knowing what I was looking at. Not being able to identify which ones I liked. Which I didn’t. I picked a Celtic undertone deck, with lots of plants and forest scenes. I also remember being very, very lost.

It was not a good choice for a first deck. The guidebook was extensive and not the easiest to wade through. Often the cards had two pages of explanations, and this was in a period of time where I wasn’t able to read and process well yet… but I hadn’t known to flip through the guidebook to see if I understood it before buying it.

Some of the cards were a bit unsettling looking. The messages were blunt. The readings we did that first night were weirdly accurate and that too I found unsettling. I put it away and didn’t use it again for four months. Maybe longer? It’s hard to remember. I remember feeling like in my damaged state that this could have been a slippery slope into delusion and not wanting that to happen.

Almost 2 years later, I can now say that I do not dislike this deck. It is a brutally honest deck, that pulls no punches and always cuts right to the quick of things. It’s one I use for longer readings where I want more details… but woof was it not a good first deck. Wildwood Tarot, should anyone be wondering.

I went back to the crystal shop a week or so after I had put away the tarot deck and I mentioned that I found the whole thing overwhelming and intimidating and they mentioned that I should start with Oracle cards instead of tarot cards. They said they were a more gentle system. I had no idea that was a thing, honestly.

They also recommended feeling which ones drew me in, not just in a style or color, but the cards themselves. (I hadn’t done that when picking the tarot deck and also- OH MY GOD ADVICE- THANK YOU I’M STARVED FOR SOMEONE TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO IN REGARD TO ANYTHING.)

I remember being really drawn to an oracle deck and going what? No. Why this one? But I picked it up over and over again. It was an easier deck to handle as it has 36 cards and not 78 as the tarot decks did. The artwork was pretty and light and gentle. Even if the color of the box was pink. So I got my second deck, this time an oracle deck. And again I forgot to check what the guidebook was like, but this one was good.

They are SUCH pretty cards. The guidebook is the perfect length with enough detail to be useful but not to overwhelm. The back of the cards is so pretty.

But here is the box cover and so I am betting why you can tell I was initially NOT drawn to this deck. Turns out the “Romantic” in it’s name speaks to the romantic art style (very Belle Epoch/ Art Nouveau) and not the intention for how to use the cards. So like, way to not make THAT clear! Anyway, once I was able to get over being repelled by the cover on the box and started shuffling through the cards it grew on me.

Also- I remember thinking that Lenormand must be the author, but no. Lenormand is it’s own divination system named after a French fortune teller from the Napoleonic period in France. I didn’t know that for MONTHS after getting this deck! And while the Lenormand decks are oracle decks, not all oracle decks are Lenormand.

it was all very unlike me, the lack of research that went into the whole thing.

But in those early months that Lenormand deck was very useful. And even at the time, and being open that maybe messages were coming through these tools- I was also open to the idea that if they were merely a Rorschach test and made me think of the problem or question a different way then that had value too.

After that I bought WAAAAY too many decks, and then got rid of many of them too, and now have a fairly whittled back collection. I went hard into Oracle decks at first… but as they can be whatever the authors want… some of them were real weird or less than helpful.

SO. Finally to the point here: Do I have some advice on picking which decks to use when starting out? You bet your ass I do!

My recommendation on order here, should you want some kind of a divination deck is this: Lenormand, (other) Oracle deck, Tarot.

So first: Lenormand

Lenormand has the same 36 cards (House, Birds, Clouds, Mountain, etc) in every deck- and so even if your guidebook that comes with the cards isn’t the best, it’s very easy to look up online. Artisan Tarot has a nice selection online of Lenormand decks. While most metaphysical stores carry both oracle and tarot decks, not all of them will have Lenormand decks… the store I got mine at doesn’t have any right now in fact.

This site has a good selection and my goodness- someone get the Green Glyphs Lenormand because I sure do love it- but as I already have one of these decks I totally don’t need it. Found here: Lenormand Decks

Weirdly, while I have multiple tarot decks, and a few different (other) oracle decks… I’ve never felt the need to get multiple Lenormand decks. I have one, ergo I’m good. I can’t really explain it considering I have 7 tarot decks… but the feel is very uniform on all the Lenormand decks I’ve picked up in stores, and so multiples wouldn’t add anything. Besides- I’ve never seen ones prettier than this one, so I’ve never felt a need from even just the aesthetic aspect.

How I use it:

I like using this deck for a daily draw. I pull two cards and ask “what I need to know for the day”. I USED to ask “what does this day hold” and while it’s answers were always correct, they weren’t always the important things.

An example of a two card pull. Today:

As my youngest is off to a UIL writing competition (and I’m blogging right now)… seems like it’ll be pretty accurate.

I have only ever used it for these two-card daily pulls- thought the original system had a nine or twelve card pattern and this very elaborate system for use… I’ve never done that. And let that be a lesson here- these are tools. Use them however you want. I have, in fact, used a wrench to hammer in a nail before, you know? Just because it’s how it’s often done doesn’t mean that’s how you need to use any of these things.

Is it the deepest thing? No- but also that has it’s place! I think that energy was what I was looking for in those early days- not some potentially darker shadow work or deeper truth kind of thing, and more a shallower level of insight. These decks are perfect for that.

Also. Tarot with some of their scarier cards (the Devil. The Tower. The Hanged Man. The Death card) can be really unsettling when you are already not in a good headspace. So a lighter, breezier system is a good choice for those times the world is dark enough on it’s own.

Second: (other) Oracle Cards

Dude, I probably had 8 oracle card decks at one point… and then I got one deck that the explanation for the cards was just so bananas and annoying (something about a Queen Bee?) that the whole category of oracle divination cards crumbled for me and I got rid of most of them and didn’t use the ones I did keep regularly for a couple of months.

Currently I have two oracle decks aside from the Lenormand deck. I have one that doesn’t have a guidebook at all and is strictly a “meditation word of the day” style deck.

(I do actually love this deck. One of the newest ones I own)

And a pretty specific oracle deck called the Queen of the Moon Oracle where I can check in on where I’m at for the day and where people around me are at.

That deck is STUPID how spot on it is. When my mother in law was dying the only thing that kept coming up for her was the Acceptance card. And my brothers in law (who were her caretakers and were really struggling) kept coming up as Darkness. or the Void.

I find it very useful for that specific purpose, but I wouldn’t ask it anything other than “Where am I (or they) at right now” style questions.

And finally… tarot

Tarot is a set system, generally of 78 cards. It also has more elaborate spread patterns and questions that can be used with the cards. How the cards interact with each other comes into play. Sometimes the answers are less than clear.

You are not supposed to ask the cards yes/no questions or really even “when” questions, though there are a couple of ways that can be worked around for those.

The cards will have the Major Arcana cards and the Minor Arcana cards.

Major Arcana are characters or images: The World. The Magician, the Empress. Strength. Death. etc. And the minor arcana are the suits (traditionally the Swords, Cups, Wands, and Pentacles, counting from 1 to 10 and then page, knight, queen, and king) so 10 of swords, 2 of cups, Queen of wands… etc. Some decks rename these suits and so getting a first deck that is liberal with the naming system gets a little hard to interpret. My first deck I mentioned above renamed the Swords as Arrows and Cups to Vessels. Others rename the Pages to child, or learner… it can get a bit confusing.

Strength is the 8th card in the Major Arcana. And 10 of Swords is a minor arcana card. These are from the Uncommon Tarot

There are also 4 main “types” of tarot cards: Marseiile, Thoth, Baraja Española, and Rider-Waite-Smith.

Marseilles style decks are early 15th century French style. Honestly these are probably the original tarot cards. I find them harder to interpret as the Minor arcana cards are all pip cards-(8 of cups, for example will just be a card with 8 cups, no figures or backgrounds). Not terrible, and I have one like that, but doesn’t make the meaning of the cards obvious.

Thoth style decks are Egyptian bases and rename some of the major arcana cards. The cards can be more abstract and the whole thing is tied up with Alistair Crowley and I just don’t fuck around with some of that dark shit, so I can’t really speak to it- aside from saying that I find them off putting and don’t own any.

The Baraja Espanola system isn’t TECHNICALLY tarot, but corresponds to the minor arcana cards and does not have any major arcana cards. This is a system developed in Spain right around the same time as the Marseilles tarot system. I actually really like this system and have a deck and my cousin (actually Lucas’s cousin but we don’t split hairs) is a fan of them as well.

And the Rider-Waite-Smith style decks are the classic, easy to interpret and traditional style of tarot cards with images instead of pips used for the minor arcana cards… I recommend these, and they are good starting decks. They are also the most prevalent in the industry.

There are also tarot decks that are only the 21 major arcana cards: my oldest uses a deck like that.

You see why I’m like… yeah… just be prepared to do a bit of research first.

I find a HUGE variability of feel from one tarot deck to another, even more than with oracle decks (not Lenormand though, as I mentioned before). I have some that are brutally honest but kinda dicks. Some that are super literal. Some that are good for more introspective work, and some that are funny.

They all have their place.

I have had a couple I bought online and as soon as I touched them or started shuffling them something just felt off and I didn’t like them- so for the first few I’d buy them in person if you can and pick them up and see if you like them, and then look through the guidebook and see if you also like how things are explained. I had one BEAUTIFUL deck (the Forager’s Daughter tarot) but the guidebook sucked so bad I wanted to punt it into the sun. I ended up giving that one away.

Some are hand illustrated and some are pictures (I find I like illustrated better than photography based decks). Color schemes and art styles can vary wildly. There are decks that are more racially inclusive and have more body shape inclusivity (Moonchild Tarot is good for that) Some more LGBTQ inclusive decks (Uncommon Tarot and Wild Unknown are good for that). Some are animal based or flower based, though some of those get more difficult to interpret (not all though).

The finishes on the cards range from glossy, matte, linen finish, and all the way to one called “rosebud” which sounds good but has such a plasticy feel I worry about how many phalates are seeping into my body from handling them. There can be a huge difference in the thickness of the cards, and the thicker ones can make shuffling harder, but the thinner ones can bend.

Some of the cards are tiny and I find them difficult to shuffle, and some are so big I struggle to hold them in my hands. (I tend to like a smaller but not tiny size for tarot, but I can accept a slightly larger oracle card). Some are round or coffin shaped… and I find I don’t gravitate to those, what with being a basic bitch and all.

It’s the Wild West out there, is what I’m saying.

I have some I find I use more in colder weather and the winter and others I use more in the summer.

I have some I’ll use only for myself and some I’ll use with other people if they want a reading.

Can I explain any of those reasons? Not really. But then I kinda shrug my shoulders and go… eh. We all have preferences and it’s nice there are decks we can all drill down with, and for different uses.

Also- while each tarot card has a traditional meaning, each deck puts a slightly different spin on it… and so the answers may emphasize one part over another or have a slightly different flavor. Here is an example of my favorite card in tarot: the 8 of Cups.

Fundamentally the 8 of Cups means walking away from something that is good but not exactly right, in pursuit of the better/perfect, even if the path to that goal is unclear. To risk leaving the comfortable known and wade through the unknown in search of better. And you can see how the interpretations of this concept vary WILDLY in the cards I have in the image above.

These also illustrate another thing: You see how some have the words listed at the bottom? And some have just a roman numeral? And that one has a cursive font that’s a little hard to read? And the upper right card (Wildwood Tarot) also includes a keyword and calls them Vessels and not Cups? These are ALSO things to consider when choosing cards. Can you read the font? Can you read Roman numerals? Etc etc.

The middle bottom deck there (Somnia Tarot) I have actually listed on eBay right now as it’s a hard to find indie deck, kinda pricey, and I want to throw it in a volcano because I both don’t like the guidebook (author made it all about his own struggles with insomnia) and I also get SOOO annoyed trying to figure out what exactly the minor arcana cards are as they are not all marked or illustrated too clearly.

And while it seems like it would be useful I also don’t like that the Wildwood Tarot has a keyword written on it really, but it doesn’t bother me enough to not use the deck. The card isn’t all about rebirth, so having rebirth listed there like that is kind of annoying, I find.

If the pictures don’t match the image I also go… well okay?! Like yes, the bottom left there is the Radiant Wilds Tarot (I love that deck so this card not being a favorite is a bit of a bummer) and the image is someone leaving in search of something better… but where are the cups at all, you know?

And traditionally (Rider-Waite-Smith system) the eight of cups are stacked with 5 at the bottom and 3 at the top with a gap… indicating there is disorder somewhere. Something is missing. Things are not exactly balanced. But you can see most of the interpretations I have in my decks don’t have them like that, aside from the Crow Tarot on the upper left.

Some bother me, some don’t, but it loses or occludes or changes that meaning if they are done differently.

Damned if Moonchild Tarot doesn’t have my favorite version of my favorite tarot card though. So pretty.

Anyway.

So all that being said… what would I say is a good starter tarot deck? Start with a mass market deck as they’re $20 and not the $50 to $150 as the indie decks can be. Or more. The out of print second version of the indie deck The Stunning Tarot is $350 and I want it so badly… perhaps I’ll find it at an estate sale one day? You never know. But I am NOT spending that kind of money on a tarot deck unless I get really, really drunk one night. Won’t say it won’t happen, just that it’s exceedingly unlikely these days. (I am, please note, a bit of a hipster about indie art Tarot decks. Yes I’m annoyed by it too.)

BUT! These following recomendations are all good starter decks and they are all fairly easy to find. I have put links to them on Amazon, but I’ve also seen them in lots of stores- so like support those in person crystal shop weirdos if you can, instead of Amazon. But also… feel free to just get one off Amazon if you don’t want to go in a crystal store.

Rider-Waite-Smith classic deck is where a lot of people start. It also comes in a lot of different color versions- there is a pastel one that is super pretty honestly. But the original one is found HERE

My 16 year old has this next version, which is the exact characters and formatting from Rider-Waite-Smith system, just in a different style. I love this deck. Ethereal Visions Tarot found here

And my sister in law has this one as her easy/beginner deck and she loves it. It makes reference to lots of folklore from around the world. Tarot of the Divine, found here

I actually don’t tend to follow my own advice (shocker but also I didn’t know better, at the time) and so jumped into the deep end with my tarot decks. Some of the first ones I got are the most complicated ones in my collection today. One of my recent ones I would consider to be a good first deck though- Crow Tarot, found here

It’s got a good guidebook that isn’t too long- though I wish it included some keywords as I find that helpful when they’re included. I think the images are engaging and the artwork is done well. (The cartoony weird-face tarot decks that seem to predominate the market make me want to punch puppies though, I swear. It takes some searching to wade through all of those.) I WISH it had the name at the bottom of the cards instead of the top Roman numeral, but other than that Crow Tarot gets nothing but greenlights from me.

Here are all my tarot decks currently. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, Somnia Tarot… but I love the rest. And also- I go through phases where I won’t use a deck for months and months and then that deck will one day be all I’ll use for a while. It’s nice to have choices.

As for spreads… some people do a one card draw a day with tarot cards- but I don’t use mine like that. I tend to use tarot for 3-6 card spreads, and I change those up depending on what questions I’m asking. Some weeks now the only tarot spreads I do are ones I put on Instagram on Wednesdays. My Christian friend made the mistake of telling me how much she hates that I do that, so I’ll now keep doing it until I die.

I use tarot to go: Hmmm what is this unsettled feeling I have? What do I need to know today as it pertains to work? How do I get this cat to stop catching birds and bringing them inside and dropping them on my face while I sleep? (answer was 3 cards indicating movement. I moved the bird feeder. It solved the problem.) And I tend to do a nine card spread to see what the month ahead holds. Some weeks I use tarot cards once. Some weeks it’ll be 2 or 3 times.

If I get an answer I just don’t understand I’ll ask for clarification by pulling a card from another deck… and damned if that hasn’t helped before.

I use my Lenormand for daily 2 card pulls fairly regularly. And I’ll bust out one of the other oracle decks eh… couple times a month now? I used them more in the past but I’m off them for the most part at the moment.

Some people say you shouldn’t use tarot for yourself as there is SOOO much interpretation needed that it’s too easy to influence what the cards are saying to the story you want to hear. I don’t find I struggle with that too much (she says denially). I’d like to think all that training in recognizing my own biases for my Cultural Anthropology degree comes in useful here? Perhaps. Perhaps not.

I try to be aware of not cherry picking meaning as I’m using them and to try to use them more as a Rorschach test to make me see a problem differently, or look at it with a new perspective instead of being a “fortune teller” type thing.

Anyway.

I find I enjoy them.

I also thought they were helpful as I was wading through the discomfort of my world and identity having been destroyed by early grief and as I was on the journey to put myself back together since then… but I don’t think I would recommend these to everyone in grief, at least without some caution.

Hope that was interesting? Helpful? Any other questions about Tarot or Lenormand or Oracle cards I can answer?

Catch yall later!

Digital Closet App- Lemme Tell You About it

Lauren 2 Comments

I have bought many clothes over the years that I love and then don’t wear. I’ve also been trying (DECADES) to style my clothes better, to varying degrees of non-success in the past. I am going to share something that has been helping and doesn’t require more clothes, stylist fees, or researching rules… a digital closet app I’ve been using.

Continue reading “Digital Closet App- Lemme Tell You About it” →

Window to the Soul/ Backyard and Cat Hamlet

Lauren 1 Comment

Let’s address this right outta the gate, especially considering I’ve been pretty furiously unfollowing anyone who isn’t brave enough or inclined enough to be posting about ICE and Minneapolis on social media, so I better just start by mentioning it here. You know. For the duty and clarity of it all.

When we talk about extrajudicial killings, the rule of law being trampled, and a secret police force out to terrorize and cow an entire state full of not only my beloved family but also of my beloved fellow citizens, let me just say… I’m against it.

And it chafes just that much extra because we all motherfucking saw this coming and were called rabid and delusional for saying so before this. The Oracle of Delphi had a raw deal, back in the day, I tell you what.

Anyway.

The fury.

Some memes.

I’d say those nicely tie it in a bow as to where my head is at over the whole thing. I am very, very proud of Minnesota right now. And their bravery and patriotism exceeds the majority of Texas; as this state would have rolled over, licked boots, and said that meant they were being real Americans.

In other news, I am finishing up my next renovation project which has been planned since November, but took this long for the windows to get in. And when they did they were the wrong size… so that was fun.

I had some old and broken french doors that we never opened in the bedroom- both for “they broken” reasons and because we never trusted the lock and so had our dresser in front of them for security. I really wanted to have a window I could open and get a cross breeze in this room, and I wanted to feel safe in here if I ever got rid of this monstrously heavy dresser, so why not. Another project- you know, because my history with contractors has been so stellar!

They looked pretty enough I guess, in a basic bitch kinda way, but oh so impractical and also annoying to clean.

And look. An architectural marvel it is not- but it is the exact style of our other windows, so I’m happy about the uniformity. It also now frames the tree across the yard perfectly this way, whereas two windows as were originally planned would have had a seam right through the middle like the french doors had…so I’m actually happier with just the one window. I’m also happy to have gained some more wall space- the light switches were always weirdly cramped and I have more art I can hang now. It worked out, is what I’m saying.

It was still cold when the subs my contractor used came in to tape and float the drywall. And as it dried in the hours after they finished it didn’t cure correctly and bubbled like… champagne? Hot springs? I’ve never seen anything like it and the whole thing was blamed on the cold weather. So then they had to come back and fix it… which involved much sanding and scraping and dust and extending it all out much farther than I could have ever expected to fix it correctly.

Welcome to an Italian villa level of plaster on the wall, amiright? Asher can’t believe it either. (Also, I know it looks squatty, but we had to fit the window into the space the doors had been instead of cutting in and extending it up into a taller window- all due to the internal support structure of the wall. It looks better with the art and curtains all hung back up, never you worry.)

The trim boards are getting put on on Monday. And then after that it’ll get primed and painted. Again. Turns out I may not have ordered these projects correctly, I’m realizing. But oh well if the painting on that wall has to get done twice.

And fun fact- you can do whatever the hell you want in your own house! So I’m getting an extra deep sill installed so the cat can fit on it without having to buy one of those extender bed things to clip on. My contractor, bless him, didn’t bat an eye at this idea. It will get much use.

The weather has warmed up here now, so last night I slept with both the cat window (as I’m calling it) and my bedside window open and it was a glorious 64 degrees with a cool breeze in here when I woke up under my amazingly warm comforter.

I have a new resolve, in this world where I don’t know what the future holds for me. And it is exactly this concept:

Seems like a worthy venture. I will spend the rest of my life doing it and I’m not just talking about home renovation.

Speaking of the cold weather. Before the storm hit I cut anything usable out of the garden for myself, and then harvested a bunch of stuff for a friend of mine who makes her own tea and incense.

Look how beautiful it was! The freeze would have turned it all to mush, so I felt great being able to share the bounty and ensure it didn’t go to waste.

Isn’t that so pretty laid out like that? I grew that! And I’ll do it again too!

And I must share a project the girls and I have been doing recently- living room collage art nights!

I got a stack of 1960s National Geographic magazines off of Ebay for less than $20 (free delivery) and we’ve been having an absolute blast cutting out collages from them.

My younger two and I did the first night while watching a Simpson’s marathon. And then when my youngest was at a friend’s house my oldest came over and my older two and I did a collage night too. We watched Cactus Flower with Goldie Hawn and Ingrid Bergman and (I’m not making this up) Walter Matthau as the love interest. And shout out to that movie because we all loved it and the comedy and tone were stellar and held up perfectly. The girls couldn’t stop talking about it. Not often a comedy gets nominated for best picture, and while it didn’t win, Goldie Hawn did win for best supporting actress for that movie in 1970. 10 outta 10, I tell you.

We had so much fun we’ve all decided to start working on putting together our own collage tarot deck this winter, and then (should we in fact complete this group project) I’ll get them printed up for us- it’s been spectacularly fun and such a real joy. Great bonding time and creative time… good for the soul, is what I’m saying. And my goodness the girls are so much better at this than I am, but it doesn’t really matter. The point is not to be good. The point is to use ye old creative muscles and brain cells.

Very much like this.

I guess you can kinda tell I started 2026 off with a gung ho resolve to do more.

Ten mile hike on January 2nd, past life regression, dusting off the creativity, improvements to my space, being intentional with what I am making of this life… all of it. Perhaps its a hangover from all the emotion and different effort it took for getting through December (and the year and a damn half before that). But also… if this is life, then it is only going to be what I make of it. No one else is going to make my life for me anymore, mores the shame.

While I spent dollar after dollar on myself in 2024 and 2025 buying many, many things; you cannot fill that kind of hole in the chest with material “stuff”. It does not repair, this hole, from the outside in (I find after much trial and error) but from the inside out. And so that is what I have been working on lately.

Towards that goal I also added in a six month Stretching, Movement, and Rhythm Zoom class that meets every Tuesday and Thursday for an hour and a half. It’s pretty damn spectacular and a little woo woo, but not too woo woo, which is a balance I appreciate. We do stretching and breath work and discussions on yin and yang meridians through the body… many things. I’ve been very dedicated to it, this past month, and I always look forward to the classes.

It’s funny though, in the first session we were “breathing into, and sending our awareness” to various parts of the body and joints- and it’s so crazy to try to feel for your lungs or knees, and realize you just don’t really have awareness of any of it. The instructor checked in after the first five minutes of trying to do that and went around asking us what concept we all started with. Could you, right now, have a sense of your skeleton and muscles and organs before we really dig into the exercise? I told her my concept of it all is just solid and uniform- like if I was a potato or a turnip and you sliced into me- nothing but solid starch, all the way through. How odd to discover that was my concept of my physical self!

But very quickly I did learn to build that body awareness. And how I can so easily see that I was not fully engaging my feet, or that I wasn’t using my right inner thigh for damn near anything, or that my pelvis was really working like four different pieces, none moving in unison. Or that I hadn’t fully inflated my lungs since (educated guess here) May 19th of 2024 or so.

The immediacy of relief of various symptoms is also insane. My twinges of plantar fasciitis that had been coming back the past few years went away after the foot lesson, and have not come back. My neck hump is reduced and my neck pain is gone. I have been getting regular massages every other week for about a year (handy having a super talented friend as a massage therapist) and before I told her about the class she was exclaiming about how the muscle knots in my back and calves were drastically better all of a sudden- and that was just two weeks into the class.

I am not sure it is so much the improvement in flexibility I can attribute it to, though I am working on rebuilding that. Sad to have lost my former flexibility over the years, my nickname was actually Gumby in karate due to how flexible I was back then, but some of it is starting to come back. I think the majority of the benefits have been from engaging muscles and changing how I use my feet or legs… I don’t know. The body just feels like it’s starting to come back on line, is what the feeling is.

I can now do that “hands free stand-up from sitting on the floor” test that was going around social media recently, and I just… feel less old? Like I trust my body more than I had recently. My balance is better. Honestly I feel in my 30s again, physically, whereas I had started to feel much older than 46.

This Thursday the class was almost all floor work, so I had a “helper” even more than I usually do. I swear he knows he’s on camera because this little narcissist comes running to do the sessions with me, and always positions himself in view- but most of the time he’s just in the background. The pictures below give a brief snapshot of how the session went this week… until I had to kick him out when it all started to edge into claws and teeth territory. He got very excited, was all.

It was very cute and also a bit bitey. But honest to god I’d let that cat drive a car or shoot a gun if he wanted to, so I allow it.

One other interesting thing for me is that we really haven’t done much on the rhythm part of things yet, but we have done a little bit- and it turns out each and every time I try to dance I hold my breath. Well guess what you can’t do while holding your breath? Dance or find a rhythm. Huh!

The dances in class to date has been hip scarf using, quasi belly dancing type movements to try to get hips and pelvis engagement started. And while yes, that’s real fucking weird, it’s also interesting to find out that my left hip literally has no idea what it’s doing so the right hip was doing most of the work this whole time.

Interesting, right? It’s all just interesting and learning new things and I’m super here for it.

It also is never anything anyone works up a sweat for- the class is all about slow and gentle movement, and yet I have lost 10 more pounds this month. Sure, all the health stuff I started in the fall is still carrying on- I’m drinking less, eating protein yogurt most mornings for breakfast, cooking damn near all weekday dinners again, and taking my medications (not glp-1) and vitamins regularly again. But this is much faster than in the past. It’s like… hmm. Like its all unblocked and momentum is building, is the only way I can describe it. Perhaps its the stress level and inflammation going down? Perhaps it’s just bringing more muscles back online? Or perhaps it’s unrelated… who knows.

But I feel better in this carrying case I travel through the world in than I have in a long time. And that is the intention I came to the class with- not for societal expectations, or to try to lose weight to be more attractive, but with a desire to feel better at being me, right now, while my feet are still planted on the surface of the planet. So it’s nice.

Continue reading “Window to the Soul/ Backyard and Cat Hamlet” →