Recently I saw some really tightly furled peony buds for sale at the grocery store. Do they even open when they’re that tight in bud? What color/form would they be? Could I really drop $14.99 on 5 mystery peonies?

Yes. Yes I could.

KAPOW! They opened to be 8″ across. I have never bought more insanely glorious cut flowers.

They also did the thing that some flowers do and changed color as they aged. so they went from dark pink all the way to white. They lasted for 8 days.

That was the best $1.88 per day I’ve spent, I tell you what.

And I FINALLY fixed something- which feels awesome, actually!

One of the first things I bought for reselling was a 32″ cast iron fountain with griffins. (look at me and my “both feet first” shit)

It was not working and had a hideous and too large broken pond pump in it that someone had screwed into the fountain itself. I knew I could do better. And then it sat on my deck for 13 months collecting leaves.

I finally ordered a new pump- dredging up some knowledge on pump sizes and capacity from a long ago world where I designed and built a couple of fountain in my early 20s, and then that sat on my desk for a month. An hour before dinner yesterday I decided the time was nigh and had my husband help with the broken pump removal and I installed the new one, primed the pump and turned it on. It’s goddamn lovely and covers a really significant amount of ambient traffic noise, honestly.

Of course my aesthetic doesn’t run baroque (more like broke, amiright?!) so we won’t be keeping it… but it is nice for now. I have it listed for $495… and that’s priced to move, as such things go. I’m not looking forward to packing it but oh well.

I could glibly talk about the rest of reselling stuff or the garden or recipes or the puppy… but nah.

If I’m honest I have not been having the easiest time lately. Things that are stressful just seem to be stacking up. Injuries, and expenses, tax stuff (they dropped our homestead exemption when we refinanced and it’s STILL a thing to try to get back- which jacked with our escrow account… don’t get me started), vet visits both planned and unplanned, and new work stress where you don’t know what the bar to be above really is yet… it’s just… been a lot. Small things can add up. It has both happened before and resolved before- this I am aware.

And I’m okay! I really truly am. I can shoulder it, and be okay, but I know it’s all taking an ongoing toll, is wearing me down, and I’m just not feeling my best, is all. Like if I’m being graded I’m not getting an A currently at ANYTHING but I’m still passing. I’d say I’m running at about a C+ average these days… but as I like to say: It’s good enough for a liberal arts degree. (I would know, wouldn’t I? Yes, yes I would.)

I try to put a name to it. Am I sad? No. Anxious? No. Best I can come up with is overwhelmed… but that isn’t right either! Like… I’m able to handle it! I get up and feed the dogs and chickens and clean up after a puppy and give the cats their pills and make coffee and it’s fine and I don’t resent any of that and that’s just the first 30 minutes of every day. Tired maybe. Maybe I’m just… tired. And yet here I am lazing about blogging and sleeping fine. I guess it’s just a different tired, is all.

Anyway.

There are a few rules I live by which are applicable here.

Everyone deserves to get flowers.

Make the pst pst pst sound to stray cats.

You sleep better in a clean room.

Being nice is nice

And so… I bought some flowers and boy did that pay off.

I shall get up and clean my bedroom top to bottom and put all new sheets on the bed.

I’ll be extra nice to that cute but skittish ginger tomcat who lives under our house these days.

And I refunded an eBay buyer who left me a sweet note about how much she liked the swizzle sticks she just bought from me because they were the exact kinds her grandparents had and it brought her a bit of nostalgia and joy at a time when she is dealing with her dad in hospice. Sometimes such things can be scams- beware the online sob story- but this time it was after she paid and all so I don’t think it was. I packed her swizzle sticks with a note saying “may the memories of good times help during the hard times” and then refunded her purchase. I’m out $0.50 on the swizzle sticks themselves and $3.75 in postage… is fine.

And perhaps tomorrow I will not be as tired. Maybe tomorrow.

But if I still am at least the room will be clean. And there will be flowers in the vase. And an internet stranger out there somewhere who appreciates a small kindness. And maybe the tomcat will let me get a little closer to him finally.

Maybe.