It’s been a busy few weeks over here, against my better wishes. Or not, maybe I have been wishing for it? Busy is good and helpful till it crushes you, so like… do I even know what to shoot for, these days?

Where to start.

Okay how about this? Someone has been breaking into houses in our neighborhood. They hit one of my friend’s house that is under construction a few streets over a month ago. They hit the house next to me Monday before last. I was up that Sunday night till 1:30am. I woke up at 6am. Somewhere in between someone pried open her bathroom window, crawled in the house, and dumped out all their storage bins and thoroughly trashed the place. The neighbors had moved but were still storing things there. On the way out (through the front door and down the driveway) they opened my car and tossed the glovebox contents into the back seat- probably while looking for a spare key that thankfully was not in there. Two nights later they hit a house around the corner that someone lived in, but was gone for the night.

This is as disturbing as you’d expect it to be- because it means someone is watching.

That Monday evening, after I and all the neighbors learned what happened and cops had been out, I went around and checked that all our windows were locked. Fun of funs, there was at least one window in each bedroom that was unlocked, as well as both of the ones in the kitchen. AWESOME!

So, as big of a pain in the ass Wilson is, I’m very glad to have him as he is the very barkiest of boys.

Windows are now locked. Cars now get locked each evening. Motion activated floodlights have new bulbs and are on over the back driveway. Gel mace is delivered and in my side table next to my bed. And there are signs on all my back windows that we live here and are aware of whats happening. I believe my EXACT phrase on the sign is: “We have cameras, dogs, guns, and eyeballs on you- please try us.” My friend down the street also put signs up. Hers simply say: “We’ll fucking shoot you.”

The cops seem to think it’s a homeless person. The neighbors think it’s teenagers. Which is worse? Because either way its escalating.

I’ll tell you what’s worse: the fact that the Friday after it all started we were supposed to go out of town for two nights and leave our house empty except for when the dog walkers came! AGGH!

You know how hard it is to line up a house-sitter, and on short notice, in a situation like that? “Hi, someone potentially dangerous is trying to break in, one of the two bathrooms is currently not working and is being remodeled, and also my husband died here 6 months ago- it’s like an AirBNB!”

My 21 year old nephew stepped up and stayed here while we were gone- the fucking hero, you know?

We’re back now and sleeping peacefully, believe it or not… or like, as peacefully as we have been before this all started. Existence is a trip, I tell ya what.

We’re okay, I swear.

Anyhoo.

So where were we going for two nights, you ask? My brother and I took my Dad to the huge Texas Renaissance Festival outside of Houston as he’d never been and had always wanted to go. So… we took him!

You know what we learned? We learned this man had literally GONE TO COLLEGE for the Renaissance Music Program at San Antonio College and took TWENTY SIX HOURS his first semester. He’s been a professional musician our entire lives, but it’s all been like Eagles covers and stuff- neither my brother or I knew his literal first love was Renaissance music. Why didn’t we know? Because my mom never wanted to go to a Renaissance festival, and so we never did. How the fuck do you marry someone who majored in Renaissance music and not go with them to a Renaissance festival in 45 years?! It boggles the fucking mind, honestly.

We watched a number of musical shows- regaled by him about the instruments, and history of the instruments and styles- and it was so nice to see some of the light come back into his eyes. On the way out he said that this is what he wanted to do- to do this thing, and play this music, and rediscover that passion he has for playing that kind of music. And you can see when it struck him- that he’d be allowed to practice the bagpipes in the house now- that the rule my mom had made many a year ago didn’t have to be followed anymore. What- doesn’t your dad own both a Scottish style and Irish style bagpipes, entire duffle bag of penny whistles, a lute, a dulcimer, and multiple mandolins? Well mine sure does.

What he also has is a daughter who is friends with the people who put on the small, and just starting out, Renaissance festival in our hometown. And so THAT is how, in one month’s time, my dad will be playing 3 short sets at a Renaissance festival- mere days after saying he wanted to! I feel a tiny smidge like Oprah. “You get a renaissance music set, and YOU get a…”

I also bought him some linen breeches and a shirt as well as a kilt, as his old one (your dad has a kilt and used to come to your school on St. Patrick’s day and play bagpipes in the cafeteria too, right?) was made for a 32″ waist and he doesn’t fit in it anymore. He teared up. I’ll also take many a photo and do a write up for him that he can use to apply to a number of other festivals in the state in the future… it’s a whole plan being put in motion for him.

I am extremely happy for him. And here was this entire thing, sprung out of what I thought was just a trip for a weekend of distraction for him in the midst of his early grief… life is a funny old thing.

It all (kinda) reminds me of the teacup thing- aside from the fact that I didn’t go to college for teacups. I might as well have, though- as often as folks ask me about teacups these days- especially in my grief group. For the past month or so, without fail, someone will bring up teacups in the minutes we’re all milling about before the session starts. Someone got teacups for a tea party with her granddaughters. Someone brought pictures to show me so they can know more about the ones they have from their grandmother, etc. Someone asks when the next appraisal event is.

And so an idea was formed when I saw a giant lot of teacups on auction on Ebay, with one I knew from experience was worth $200, and I’d be in the black on this whole thing if I got this lot and with a ton of nice teacups to spare.

This was the first of FOUR boxes of teacups I got in that lot, by the way.

So here’s what I did: I got an electric kettle, a big box of various Tazo teas, carefully washed all the teacups, took cream and sugar, got a bunch of shortbread cookies and a bunch of strawberries… and went an hour early to set up at a tea station at grief group. Everyone picked a teacup that they got to keep, we had tea and cookies and berries during the meeting, and then I wrapped up everyone’s teacups for them so they could get them home safely. It was a hit and doing nice things feels so very nice, I tell you what. I still have a lot of teacups, currently- so I’ll probably work out some way to sell them at the next teacup appraisal event- the ones I don’t give away as Christmas gifts, that is. Or maybe I’ll just donate them to the tea house- maybe they need them.

And even with all of that… I still kinda shake my head. My mental image of myself is a bit more rough around the edges and badass than being the “Tea Cup Lady” allows for, you know? Tis why I wear my motorcycle harness boots each time I do the teacup appraisal event, don’t you know. But my dudes -also- whatever, you know? There is a joy in dunking a shortbread cookie in a fancy ass cup of tea that shouldn’t be knocked until it’s tried… so I guess I’m leaning into it. I’m still going to wear the boots though, just FYI. Find some happiness out there, when and where you can, and then share it. That seems like a good lesson for us all.

The days are still predominantly shorts weather around here, but sometimes I need a hoodie in the morning when walking my daughter to school. And the evenings have fewer mosquitoes and nicer sunsets and I’ll lean into those too.

Sunsets are best enjoyed from a shed roof, don’t ya know. But I personally enjoy them from ground level with a beer.

To each their own, and in all things.

Here’s to trying to live in peace too, as opposed to just resting in it… even when it isn’t the easiest thing in the world to pull off, and in the face of many a hard thing.

Till next time.