Cooking with Toddlers

Last night I documented (for posterity and anyone considering having a third child) what cooking with a toddler is like.

This first picture is 10 minutes into cooking. I was able to focus and so was able to pound chicken breasts (tenderize and flatten) and get them in the griddle pan and snap the green beans. What’s my secret? Ye old blind eye.

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1,000 piece puzzle in an even film over entire house.

2 seconds later…

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999 piece puzzle

2 seconds later…

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I promise dinner will taste better than puzzle if you just give me a few more minutes, sweet child.

Negative time later… think we moved backwards 5 minutes. Time concepts get hazy in the kitchen wormhole.

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NOT THE SANDWICH BAGS, STAAP!

Time sense totally gone by now. Me revert back to primitive, pre-civilization time concepts. Somewhere between setting of bright sky ball and earth mother sleep in blanket of darkness later…

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Insert soundtrack of desperately sad and hungry toddler crying here.

If it was only 10 minutes later how did I age 3 years?

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YOU’RE F-ING WELCOME

Did I mention she woke up at 4:30am today? She woke up at 4:30am today.

Good thing she’s cute.

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3 thoughts on “Cooking with Toddlers

  1. I have lost more hair scrunchies’ in those dang Ultra Dimensional Wormholes. And second thought, I say’ awe yes primitive thoughts; it was Rodger Waters (Of the Pink Floyd Band on his independent released Album) whom said it best in witted lyrics upon his Album ‘Radio K.A.O.S. (1987). Lyrics: “You wake up in the morning – Get something for the pot – Wonder why the sun makes the rocks feel hot – Draw on the walls – Eat – Get laid – Back in the good old days – Then some damn fool invents the wheel – Listen to the whitewalls Squeal – You spend all day looking for a parking spot – / and the song continuing on –

    ‘(I claim no ownership rights to this song or song lyrics / Asz here covered).’ Oh how I wept and envied your tender bare feet upon gazing upon soft flat paper puzzle pieces Lauren. For I have learned the hard way, to purchase the smooth sleek Hot-Wheels Cars; and I have hand filed all of the edges off of his square Wooden blocks and SHARP plastic Legos’. But as for Kitchens’ go’, being we all join in and cook, and wash the dishes, pans, ‘even he at 3.5 yrs.’

    ‘‘She is a deer cutie there Lauren, love her up dearly as they grow fast.’

    Liked by 1 person

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