Oh thank god September has kept up with the good moods and good weather. August blues are well and truly in the rearview… at least for me. Unfortunately the start of school, though going well, has catapulted my middle daughter into some really heavy grief I’m trying to help her navigate. So thank fucking GOD I’m on my A-game right now, you know? It is, I assure you, always one of us… but I remind myself I cannot and should not save them from their grief… there are no shortcuts to all of this.

We will get through, together.

Here is a fun thing, though. When you adopt a kitten from your friend that does foster work, and he was from a litter a feral cat had at her house, you get reminded of when your cat’s birthday is because she was there and weighed him mere hours after he was born, and took a picture of said event and then sent it to me this week!

This thrilled me to no end and I posted happy birthday posts on social media, texted pics of him to people, and made a big hubaloo about it… and then connected the dots that his birthday is September 11th and I looked like the biggest asshole to ever asshole, out here in butt land.

I made no apologies and still don’t, though.

Also it’s the perfect birthday for this goddamn terrorist.

As you can tell from that pic (or not) I have once again gotten a new white comforter, a thing that is both practical and not going to end badly from gross muddy cat paws some future rainy night like how the last three met their demise. I swear there is some corner of my backyard that has magic mud that stains worse than Sharpie.

I change nothing and this time will be different. Yeah… that’s the ticket.

Such a cute pic and I realize his stupid paw is dirty in that shot too. This bedding’s days are numbered but at least muddy cat feet are THE thing that get me to make my bed each morning so at least it isn’t on the sheets- and everything gets washed a couple times a week. Also- as first day sheets are the BEST- did you know you can put fresh sheets on whenever you want, even if it’s more than once a week? Just putting that out there and follow this page for more tips.

I woke up one morning in early in September and looked around and went- yech. This grief den has got to go.

And so the bedroom is now painted.

My husband and I hated beige walls. And flat paint. And yet our bedroom never got painted since we moved into this house. It’s a large room, and needed some drywall repair from damage sustained before we replaced the roof… and we never could hit on a color… excuses were many. But the time was nigh. This was happening.

(the barn door goes to the bathroom, it’s just set in front of the french doors to get it outta the way.)

Are you proud of me for doing such a big project all on my own?! Don’t be- I totally paid my friend to do it. She’s the best and fastest painter I know, and also her biological dad was a professional painter so somehow it’s in her genes. Weird how that works, you know? Wonder what’s in my genes that my parents were skilled at? As I don’t like vodka or Jameson maybe I’m a foundling.

I had a TON of art in here before… but a lot of that was just to get stuff I was reselling up off the floors and to cover up all that hideous beige. I’ve only put three things up so far: my husband’s portrait, our Villa 14 sign we stole on our honeymoon, and the soundbar art that is the first couple lines of our wedding song (That’s How Strong My Love is by Otis Redding, should anyone be interested). And you thought it was a grief den BEFORE… it’s fine. My love sustains me, still. Never you fear.

Song found here

Fun fact, whenever that song came on, even if we were cooking, eating, gardening outside, cleaning inside, playing chess, etc, we’d get up and dance to it… twas so romantic and lovely for those twenty years.

Also fun fact: did you know you can actually survive having your heart ripped out of your chest? Follow this page for more fun facts.

(Brief pause)

Anyway.

I realize I used to do kind of garden tour style posts and WE SHAN’T BE DOING THAT as no one is interested in that much crab grass right now… but hows about a desk tour? You can KINDA see the alcove for it in that before shot up there.

I have no idea what is up with that dirty window- whatever that is is on the outside- I promise I’m washing it today.

This was originally a window seat when we moved in and I immediately had it ripped out and a desk installed so I had a place to work. The shelves are reclaimed barnwood (not awesome for dusting, not gonna lie) and the desk itself is an old door. In that pic I hadn’t reinstalled the glass top yet. The door handle on the back is a favorite feature.

And here it is after having my stuff put back up. Also, I will eventually put more things up in other parts of this room, but I’m taking my time and figuring out what else I really want in here, or if I swap out for some art from the living room… the things that are up now are sure things- the rest can wait, for now. But at least the desk area is finished.

If we start on the upper left we have my unknown cactus I got as a 2″ tiny little thing from a nursery in Castroville. Google image search says it’s a rat-tail cactus, but that is not how those grow, so who has any idea. I love it and have to keep it high up as Asher will try to eat it, munching on a cactus stem, like the true psycho he is.

Next up is my favorite piece of propaganda, a 1917 poster put out by the Tank Corps. Story goes a truly ferocious tiny black female cat with half a tail adopted a tank company in France in WW1, and they made her their mascot. I love that. Next to it is a grim reaper statue my middle daughter made me a few years back. It is, in fact, hollow and the head and shoulders are a lid- but I haven’t figured out what to store inside yet.

Next shelf down and from left to right: an orchid in one of my 19th century Iznik vases from Persia, a string-of-turtles plant (hanging on by a thread- #notajoke) in a very amateur pot with 1950 scratched in the bottom, and a jade plant in a vintage aqua McCoy pottery pot. Vintage pots are the best pots- I loooove them. Next to that is a pink gazing globe that was my grandmother’s.

Under that, on the tiny shelf within a shelf, are a collection of glass blue birds of happiness… also from my grandmother. They’d be shown off to better effect with light shining through them and not just on them in late afternoons… but I have nowhere in my house that works like that… so there they stay.

Starting at the top left on the other side: I have the Department of Transportation spec book from 2004 that I got at my first job in this industry and one of my Dutch to English books I paid THROUGH THE FUCKING NOSE FOR in college. This fucker gets displayed for that reason. Out of spite, I guess.

I’ll remind everyone here that I made a B in that class.

Back up to the pic, next is the poster from the first of the two Rolling Stones shows my husband and I went to- what a great trip. It used to hang over the light switch right next to the door and was what I looked at with fresh eyes recently and went… would I ever be the one to have hung this here? Do I want this here? Hmmm… maybe some changes are in order. I’m okay with it having a less prominent spot.

The little bird figurines in front of it are painted seed pods from Africa I got from an artisan in Portland on a work trip in 2018. To my mind they are my husband and I, if we were seedpod birds from Africa… not sure why that makes sense but it does.

Next up we have another orchid, in a new pot this time, but its one my sister in law made me for my birthday this year. Then my beloved Innocenté Melchor deer alibrejes… not a one that isn’t rougher for wear over the 20+ years I’ve had then, but my favorites still. And then next is a purple wandering jew plant in my favorite vintage pot. It is unmarked and while it LOOKS like Rookwood, it is most likely not Rookwood… but I love it still. You can tell what color vintage pottery I like most at this point, I’m sure. On the shelf within a shelf under it is another clay box my middle daughter made me- this time of a tree trunk. It has a ladybug on it you can’t see- I turned it once I realized it doesn’t come through in that pic.

Next up: the stack of leather bound, antique tiny books my Grandpa Dick gave me back in highschool, topped with a tiny vase with bunnies on it my family got me on Mother’s Day from the McNay art museum’s store one year- I wanna say 2022. Then that weird as shit clay figurine of a woman holding anthropomorphic animal head pots is a Teodora Blanco original. I got 3 of those for $75 at an estate sale and then sold two of them (that both had repairs) for $250 each on Ebay. They sold within 18 hours of listing them. I kept the best one for myself, though.

Then the blue vase next to it is the matching 19th century Iznik vase from Persia to the one I have on the opposite shelf. Those were $20 each and I left one with a yellow background… sure it was cracked but I’ve regretted not getting it ever since.

That Iznik vase also has an orchid in it… and it’s the least favorite orchid I own. I originally got it for my mother in law to drop off after the last time we saw her, but on the way there (on our way back home and out of town) my brother in law called to tell me she wasn’t having a good morning so probably best if we not stop… and so the orchid came home with me and she died a week later. I’ll wear this ugly striped orchid around my neck like an albatross forever, I guess… Also, fun fact, that albatross reference is from the Rime of the Ancient Mariner, which I read in high school from one of those antique tiny books on that same shelf.

Next up, and hanging off that shelf, is me beaded spider from the neighborhood craft fair. I love these and have two others that are Christmas ornaments, but this one made the cut and is up year round. And that tiny plastic snake is from my first job in this industry again (same as the spec book) and was because we used to hide mini snakes in folders of paperwork to prank each other. It’s over 20 years old too.

Visible under it is my Lalique ashtray I burn candles on as I’m super paranoid about fire safety. Scorching the counter under a candle in a glass jar that burned all the way to the bottom will do that to a person.

It is sitting on a Mexican folk art painted box (style is called Olinala)- and it’s unusual as it has a blue background when they usually have black backgrounds. Also visible- the shadow puppet of Nessie from my hand.

On the desk surface itself I have (barely visible) my antique copy of a Shropshire Lad in case I need a poetry break from construction material sales during the day. I keep my pens, scissors, a cuticle stick, and my good flat head and phillips head screwdrivers in a hand painted, art deco style, condensed milk porcelain jar from Bavaria from around 1910. These can sell for up to $150 online, but mine is missing the lid and underplate. Did you know the inventor of condensed milk invented the product after he was on a sea voyage with a mother and infant and after the mother got sick and her milk dried up, the infant died of malnutrition before they could get to port? Is that a fun fact? I’d like to think that condensed milk had such fancy containers because it was so highly valued for the many children it saved after it’s invention. But also… look at the bottom border of bees on mine! I looooove this thing- and I got it for $10 at an estate sale.

Next up my Calthea plant in a modern pot as I no longer go to estate sales often and I am out of vintage pottery in my own collection, alas.

In front of it is a paperweight with a tadpole design as one of my favorite childhood memories was walking down to a drainage canal near our house with my brother and catching tadpoles to bring back to our house. The fact that we did this to feed our pet rat snake, Naag, that we caught at the same drainage canal when we saw him eating tadpoles makes this less of a sweet story, maybe? He was the absolute sweetest rat snake (there’s a sentence you don’t often hear- they’re known for being right bastards) and we used to take him on walks wrapped around our wrist or draped around one of our necks. He never would eat anything except tadpoles though, and we released him back to the same spot from whence we got him rather than see him starve later that summer when there were no more tadpoles. I’m sure in the wild he was able to find something he liked. I hope he remembered us as fondly as we remember him.

Next to that is a handpainted Acoma vase my husband got me for Christmas in 2023, and a rock my oldest painted one summer the three kids really got into that. (There are many still scattered around the garden). The plant in the green pot is an eyeball ficus and it’s tripled in size in the 5 years I’ve had it. Bought that plant from a greenhouse on Valentine’s Day in 2020 with my husband. Was a lovely Valentine’s Day we played hookie and spent the day knocking around while the kids were at school.

Next up is the wedding picture I’ve had on every desk since I’ve had jobs requiring desks… held up by the doorknob as the little stand on the back fell off long ago.

And finally- my “dry erase board”- a metal frame holding a simple sheet of paper. Did you know dry erase markers work better on glass than they do on actual dry erase boards, and that the glass cleans up better as well? They don’t teach you that in school. Plus all dry erase boards are ugly and basic- this is much better, to my eye. The sticker on the bottom is one my good friend designed and sent me- I have a larger version of that sticker next to the license plate on my car.

Oh wait- that isn’t finally- one more thing. Here is the blue and green blown glass heart I have hanging in front of that window.

When I went to pick up the large Secretariat print we got framed for our anniversary in July last year, that my husband never got to see as he died in May (story about the pic found here), there was a sign at the register that said: “Your husband called and said you could get whatever you want”- and so I bought this heart they had hanging in the window. Blue was his favorite color. Mine is green. It seemed fitting.

As I wrote in that post: sad happy is the new happy.

But! *slaps hands dramatically* it isn’t as sad. And these things do not make me sad. I am glad to be surrounded with things that have stories or history behind them and not a bunch of matching bullshit from Hobby Lobby, you know? Did the things I bought at estate sales have similar stories and connections to other people, I wonder? I’m sure many of them did. And at the estate sale somewhere in the future, after I am gone, many of my/our stories will also be lost to time. This is an okay thing. No story is forever unless you sell some really shitty copper.

Anyway- that’s my desk!

I’ll leave you, as always, with a random set of memes and such from the week.