Captain’s log, Stardate… Maternity Leave.

Man. Remember when I said nesting was awesome and I loved cleaning the house? Well let me tell you that must be placenta related because these days… Let’s just say I look at this mountain of laundry and decide I truly MUST get another blog post done. Priorities.

The laundry… it’s, it’s amazing. And to all y’all who have never had a baby before, know this: it isn’t the baby’s clothes that are so overwhelming it’s the fact that they spit up on EVERYTHING. EVERYONE. EVERYWHERE. The bibs do nothing.

MY-EYES!-THE-GOGGLES-DO-NOTHING!

THE BIBS DO NOTHING!

These little shits even hold out until you finally give up on the burp rag and THEN puke on you. I’ve worn shirts that have lasted less than a minute. I’ve had to wear a god damned button down because I was out of teeshirts(firstworldproblems). Or you just forget EVERY TIME that a burp rag would be smart, and can you not plan ahead for once in your damn life, woman! GAH! Go change your shirt.

Stupid baby sucking away braincells and making me write about laundry on my first blog post in 2 weeks… (They make the best scapegoats. Have one!)

 

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4 thoughts on “Captain’s log, Stardate… Maternity Leave.

  1. That may be a better deal… although I have been quite ok with an actual pink sock, that pink whites problem was fixed as now all socks are light gray wool cotton blend, she is getting use to them, we have a vast mix matched collection now, and as far as too much starch in the tidy whitey’s go’., I McGyvered that problem as well, by tossing them and going commando. See there are fixable solutions to all Laundry domestic engineering problems.

    -Ryker got a flu or virus this weekend, his first high fever, stuffy wee nose. I was so sad, I realized just how much I love him, and how hard it is to see your babe sick, broke my big dopey Daddy heart. I so wanted to make him magically all well, I even told myself I would gladly take his virus for him. Pedialyte light popsicles brought him with back around to his little chearing self again.

    -We’re kayakers as well. I spent five years in Northern Idaho, living right at Coeur d’ Alene Lake.

    Here in Oregon we’ve Kayaked the Rouge and Umpqua rivers. I cannot wait until Ryker is paddling his own Kayak with us, I want to kayak Waldo Lake Or. Named for Judge and conservationist John B. Waldo. It’s a natural alpine lake in the Oregon Cascades second largest non alkali lake in Oregon, with more than 10 square miles, a max depth of 420 feet. Waldo lake is at 5,414 feet elevation asl.

    -I use to like floating the Spokane river and One hot July Summer, clear hot day, while sitting in mid northern end of Coeur d’Alene with all with fifteen minutes fast clouds formed and I was n the midst a fierce electrical storm. Lightning blasting shore and pine tree tops exploding. I love hot summer electrical storms, but not being the tallest object point in the middle of a lake while grasping a long pole double bladed paddle. Had to make shore fast and then had to toss it all on my shoulder, kayak, all the gear, a hike though the woods 2.0 miles, a hard adventure.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Fellow Kayaker’ and a Daddy here.

    Been there, we got our little Ryker’ when he was just five days out of the box, fostered / adopter him. I have the boys back, held this little rescue pup every night for three months until he cleared the Meth and tremors’ / while his new mum’ my wife slept, she got the day shift. Ryker is 2.8 now and awesome.

    But yah’ baby barf is the best, especially while shopping produce and it’s all over you. But I love being a Daddy again. I’m over half a century now, so is my dear wife. But he has been a blessing in own lives and us in his. I am his daddy, I love my little guy, a lot. And oh do I know loads of laundry’ I wash in the night time when they’ve gone up to bed. High fives and clanks your barely pop bottle to your dedication and damn hard work Lauren.

    Like

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