Hello, hello!

Here it’s almost July and life has been clipping along so fast that I haven’t had a chance to laze about and write a blog post in a while.

So first up: le garden:

The fairly orderly view you see here is after two fairly full days of STRENUOUS weeding. Many large (6-10′) sunflowers are gone but the main culprit of making it look like garbage out there for a while was the amaranth, also (I just learned) called pigweed.

We had two kinds- the normal one with green stems, and another with red stems which turned out to be the aptly named spiny amaranth. Did not know that was a thing! I had many times weeding where I’d get stabbed and be like what the hell, amaranth don’t have thorns!

I’m slow on the uptake at times.

Getting repeatedly stabbed by a plant I would swear didn’t have thorns reminds me of the time we were swimming at the beach in Mexico and I found a ray and decided petting it was a good idea. (I know.) It felt like I got shocked when I touched it, so I reached out and touched it again because what the hell, electric rays arn’t a thing?! And then I got shocked a second time. Harder.

Turns out they’re a thing.

In my defense (read: none) look at this adorable thing?! Don’t you just want to squeeze it?

So electric rays and spiny amaranth both are real things, turns out.

As for the petting the electric ray… look man, wanting to befriend dangerous animals is how we ended up with cats and dogs back in the day. Some dip-shit caveman, getting stalked by an African wild cat or a wolf, was like: “Cute!” I like to think petting a ray you find in the surf in Mexico (I KNOW) is less stupidity and more that deep-seated caveman brain hidden in my limbic system. “CUTEY SEA PANCAKE! BE FRIEND!… OW! STILL BE FRIEND? OWWWWW!” (narrator speaking over that scene: “But the Lesser Electric Ray did not, in fact, want to be friends…”)

Anyway.

The spiny amaranth and I are NOT friends- getting stabbed repeatedly by them speaks to how much more I hate wearing gloves than anything else, even though I really should. Remember how we have trapdoor/mouse spiders back there? (here and here) As well as it being Texas with all kinds of snakes, or other spiders, plants that are poisonous or have thorns… I should totally wear gloves! That is a thing! But I don’t. I hates theeeeem!

The amaranth is mostly gone now (no thanks to the jerk chickens who wouldn’t eat it or scratch them up) and the garden is much more orderly and now is in good shape coming into the really hot weather.

Orderly does NOT apply to the tomato plot, though. I have six plants- only SIX! I unfortunately can’t even get a picture to properly convey the madness that is going on over there though because it just looks like a wall of tomato leaves- ALL of them are indeterminate this year. Cherry tomatoes are indeterminate (read: vining instead of bush form) Remember how my cherries got 12′ tall in previous years? THEY ARE ALL DOING THAT IT’S CRAZY PLEASE HELP.

They are planted on the eastern side of the yard this year where I have never had tomatoes before. I was worried the morning shade they get over there would be an issue, but just like all plants and gardeners in Texas- turns out they appreciate a little shade- who knew?

My tomato cup runneth over, is what I’m trying to say.

Let’s see what else is going on?

We’ve been traveling a lot since school got out earlier this month. Went to visit my brother in Houston, went to the beach, and right before that I traveled for work for the first time in over a year. (Wasn’t bad till I got stuck overnight in Houston on my way home. Thanks, United.)

And I’m working out- she says proudly after working out ONCE so far.

It is, I can see, a bit like that Tom Segura skit where he decides he wants to lose weight and then fantasizes, before he even starts, about all the people coming up to him to praise his weight loss and what his responses will be.

I’m a LITTLE farther along than that meme, I promise. Like I am working with a personal trainer and have a diet plan based on my previous eating and drinking habits that she and I worked up. And let me tell you creating that based on my self evaluation form was fun! (Narrator: “But the self-evaluation was not, in fact, fun…”)

So yeah- turns out an average of 26 drinks a week is not ideal. I was talking to my brother about drinking (as he and I drink, but also both have real eyes wide open about it and discuss it with each other) and was all: “Yeah, it’s like four bottles of wine a week… not counting weekends” And he was like: “That’s hilarious and you should put that on the blog!” (Narrator: “But, in fact, you really should’n-“) But what the hell. I will.

Anyway, it was REAL common to pick up making bread and drinking more during the pandemic but now it’s time to ramp that shit down, so that’s where I am in the whole thing. And thanks to some serious work on my mental and emotional health in 2019 I’m now in a place where instead of knee-jerking into beating myself up over some bad habits and thinking it means I’ll turn straight into my parents, I’ll just like… fix them. It’s not that hard. (okay and I KNOW that Tom Segura meme is right there) But on this one it really isn’t that hard: I’ve cut back super easily so far (read- this week, but it’s reassuring how easy it has been to do and if there was a problem this week woulda shown me) and yup- that IS where most of the weight was coming from because I’ve already lost five pounds in a stupidly short amount of time. Stupid liquid calories.

There is a difference between habitual behavior and addiction, but it is a dangerously slippery slope too, I get it- especially with a family history to watch out for. It can be playing with fire and needs to be treated with the respect it deserves and I am returned to looking at it like that, scout’s honor.

Back to the workouts aspect- they will be twice weekly and focus on significant muscle gains. I’m also supposed to do cardio two to three times a week so it’ll be an intense rest of the summer. And shit- that means it’s in the cards for me today, now that I think about it.

My trainer is my best friend’s husband’s sister (this town and it’s six degrees of separation I swear) and I like her but damn is she tiny (read short and small boned) so I do feel a bit like an Amazon next to her. (Mostly like, by being 5′ 7″ but also my ass and it’s current Mrs. Incredible nature.) That’s okay though- because I don’t want to look like her, just a better version of myself. Even at 117 lbs in high school I wore a size 8 in pants- it’s just the cut and jib of my shape and bone structure. I always joked my wide hips were due to a wide, child bearing pelvis… and turns out that shit was in fact true. Thanks for that during those three deliveries, pelvis, I’ll buy you whatever damn size pants ya need. Now ass, you fuck right off, I ain’t buying pants for you no mo’!

So, that’s where things stand on this end and even aside from that the to do list is so, so long for this summer and the time feels very short. Doctor’s appointments, dentist appointments, orthodontist consultations, vet appointments, haircuts, tennis camps, not to mention more planned trips and/or visits… and all of that almost matches the needed home repair list in length.

This won’t be a laze about summer, but I guess I’m okay with that after what was a mostly laze about year last year. C’est la vie and Alonse-y both!