I am not, in fact, testing negative for coronavirus yet, but it’s a blog title I couldn’t resist to mirror the last one. I’ve been warned I could test positive for up to 3 months now- and the home test I took yesterday shows the ever so faintest hint of a second pink line… ghost of sickness past, or something. BUT! You’re considered negative and able to rejoin the world if you’re 2 days past any symptoms and fevers and 10 days post symptom onset, so here we are!

I feel better! Do you know how great it is to feel better?! Sheesh!

I have lots of thoughts about like: “shit I coulda died if I wasn’t vaccinated!” and also “look at you. you overdramatic wreck!” Like… the mind does wonder though. Because that was terrible, and I’m better today, almost back to feeling normal even, but having been so NOT normal so recently is very surreal.

On Monday my doctors office called me, proactively, to set up a virtual visit. How? Did my doctor get a note from CVS and the lab test I took confirming I was positive? Did a post it actually make it to the right desk from my call to the nurse line on Saturday? Because I didn’t request a virtual visit. But I’m fortunate to have a primary care doctor, and one who does stuff like this- because she listened and then called in an antibiotic because I shouldn’t really feel this bad on Monday if symptoms really started on Wednesday… and just in case it was setting up to pneumonia. I also had an ear infection causing me vertigo and she said it’d take care of that, if it was bacterial. Now was not the time to play cautious with the antibiotics. And lo and behold… I am what I’d call all better at the end of that 5 day course.

It didn’t feel like pneumonia… but it also didn’t not feel like pneumonia, and that’s such a sneaky sickness too, so who knows.

I spent Saturday of last week to Thursday of this week mostly in bed. I slept SO much. I read a lovely book my aunt sent me. My sophomore walked my kindergartner to school each morning, my neighbors walked to pick her up each afternoon and kept her until my 7th grader got off the bus and got her. My mom made me soup and dropped it off. My husband risked it and would come in and hug me or hold me occasionally because he just couldn’t stand to not. I had good meal after good meal that he cooked me- and sure I had to eat them alone at my desk, but I always felt part of the family dinner. I’d go, when all the family was at work or school, to sit outside in the sun for a few minutes most days. My aunt sent me flowers too- orchids and orange roses. My friends and family texted and called and checked in. My brother called daily. My tuxedo cat, Alabama, never much for cuddling, spent the entire time on my bed. Murphy, our Great Pyrenese mix, spent the vast majority of the week next to my bed. My kids drew me pictures and the 7th grader wove me a wall hanging, and they’d say goodnight through the door. I felt very well cared for and loved.

I had CRAZY dreams too- was it covid related? Or just because I was sleeping so much? There was one escaping to Mexico with my husband (pre kids) after a police chase following a bank heist… that was fun. Another of the German festival here in town.

I never much worried- I was living very in the moment. Worry about work, or “What if this gets worse” or about my family or the world at large never really crept in. I spent the time mostly to myself, but not feeling disconnected. On Wednesday, feeling better than before but not all the way recovered, I painted my fingers and toes and walked around the block. Both activities wore me out. I tried to work a little on Thursday (that was too soon) but was able to work and hold my own for a light day yesterday. That was okay.

And I may not be able to see it myself yet, but my neighbor sent me pictures from the store she manages of my book! On a shelf! This was very exciting for me. (You Quack Me Up Toy Store– Gruene, TX)

I did mostly lose my sense of smell, but not my sense of taste. I lost all appetite, like I still forget to eat unless I pay attention to it. I’m still a bit tired. I never felt pain in my chest aside from once or twice… and I’m not 100% those times weren’t underwire bra related. My oxygen saturation never dipped below 94, and that was a one off low that after doing my breathing exercises was back up to 99 within minutes. I didn’t have crazy headaches, though oy the mucus and feeling sinus-y was crazy.

Anyway. I’m glad to be better. I’m glad to have a life I couldn’t wait to get back to. And I’m feeling real fortunate for many things these days.