Happy Friday- Fun with Actual Photo Titles

Ah, the world of professional photography. It’s a weird world. And also one where if you want to make any money… I suggest you sell your camera.

I am glad for all those weirdos out there taking quality pictures of the most random things and posting them for free on the Internet- pictures that most of the time have straightforward captions. But sometimes… magic happens.

Female lady pig outdoors on a farm

Female lady pig, asleep on the farm

You gots a youtube tutorial on how to recreate that smokey eyeshadow technique, piggy? My makeup game needs some help.

Fruit salad ingredients lemon lime kiwi mango and orange

Colorful fruit salad ingredients, a yellow lemon, a green lime, kiwi, tropical mango and an red coloured orange.

You’ve never actually eaten fruit salad, have you? And… that orange is orange. Orange is not red. Red is not that orange. Orange orange.

Military parachute jump celebration

Military parachute celebration

Stab in the dark here- this is a French Military parachute celebration we’re talking about?

Attractive young male rodent

Cute young male rodent

Yeah. There are a LOT of “rodent” pictures by this one photographer. And not one mention of the word gerbil. And.. some are so weird I started getting a bit concerned. And rightly so, turns out, by this next picture.

Cat food concept photo - brown rodent sandwich

Cat food concept photo – brown bread rodent sandwich

When life hands you lemons you make lemonade (or fruit salad). When life hands you dead young cute male rodents you make a brown bread rodent sandwich.

Oddball Beliefs

Below is a fairly random collection of oddball beliefs I have. Also. A picture of a squirrel.

squirrel

Lullabies– everyone THINKS that lullabies are for babies to get them to calm down, but I believe they are really for OURSELVES to keep our calm in the face of incessantly crying infants. I mean- I didn’t sing Somewhere Over the Rainbow for 3 hours while walking my second up and down the driveway at 3am for her sake, you know? My default “parenting situation” song is Silent Night- because I realized I knew NO lullabies when my oldest was born, and found it totally gets the job done.

Bush’s black eye– so, y’all remember when president Bush supposedly choked on a pretzel and fell on a coffee table, thus giving himself a black eye? ‘Member? You ‘member. So President Bush and the first lady went on late night talk shows to tell the story, and TO THIS DAY my thoughts on the matter are: thou doth protest too much. I don’t buy it for a minute. Whether he went on a bender, or Cheney decked him… we’ll never know- but it sure as hell wasn’t a pretzel.

Pregnancy and litter boxes– So. Toxoplasmosis- can totally jack your baby up while you’re pregnant and so NO pregnant lady ever changes the litter box- doctor’s orders. But here’s the thing- if you were previously infected with toxoplasmosis, you’re fine (so is your baby). If you don’t have it, you’re fine. The only danger is if you get infected for the first time WHILE pregnant. So it’s actually less of a risk than it’s made out to be. Also- you can get the infection from pork- but does any doctor say to lay off pork chops? Nope. So I believe this is a big “YOU’RE WELCOME” from obstetricians to pregnant ladies everywhere. But I still never changed the litter box when I was pregnant… just to be safe. (also, I keep forgetting that I have the all clear to change the litter box now that I’ve delivered… bummer.)

Don’t let your dog walk in the door ahead of you– This one is backed up by Cesar Milan, but seriously. I am the boss here, dog. You wait your damn turn.

Potting Soil is dirt, but it is not dirty– I never get the plastic wrap to set pots of plants on in the back of my car because it seems wasteful and unnecessary. This drives my husband crazy, but I believe good clean potting soil doesn’t equate with dirt/filth.

Never fold underwear– because why. Just don’t waste the time. This I believe.

I’m sure there are more… but I got a waking baby over here so we’ll save the rest for the next time.

 

 

Random Picture Friday

Low on inspiration for blog posts? Or have SO many things to possibly write/think about; surgery, new carpeting, health insurance decisions, phone plan decisions, real estate decisions, vehicle decisions, work decisions… that you just want to take a nap instead? Well have I got the blog post for you! Here’s how it works: Press the Random Picture generator on a free images website. Press it repeatedly until you get to a picture you cleave to, but pretend you only take the first one that pops up.Write zippy comment(s) about said picture… and you’re done! Without further ado, may I present to you:

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Image courtesy of Gölin Doorneweerd – Swijnenburg

A load of carp- first time ever that has been typed and not been a typo. We’re making history here folks!

I’m scraping to bottom of that carp barrel, so you’ll just need to give me a pass on this one.

Happy Friday!