So, turns out I have had somniloquy, also known as sleep talking, on and off for… pretty much ever. (And how cool is the word somniloquy? Right up there with slumber and credenza.)

I’ve been doing it since I was quite young. I remember the look on my Mom’s face when she tried to wake me up once when I was in high school and I angrily tried to convince her about something having to do with the baseboards… that I was totally calling sparrows. There was angry and emphatic pointing accompanying this as well. Come to think about it that’s not a good example- that’s one of the times I STARTED talking in my sleep and then quasi-woke up in the middle of it. I got told to go back to sleep. Immediately.

A better example is from the night before I was supposed to give a presentation on yellow roses. My husband (hot ass boyfriend at the time) shook me awake… after I’d given the entire presentation in my sleep. I’d like to think it was interesting enough that he waited till the end to wake me and not that he was frozen in horror because it was some horrifyingly surreal Dahli shit at 2am. He married me after that, but then he used to like Dahli too… My husband says it’s usually work related and surprising how clear and conversational it is- so this isn’t incoherent mumbling we’re talking about.

How do I feel about it? Shrugging acceptance? What are you gonna do, you know? I have as little control over it as I do over the fact that my mouth falls open the second I fall asleep on a plane. Actually, I DO have more control over the sleep talking- because it only seems to happen when I’m stressed and over tired. The gape mouthed horror in seat 23D… nothing I can do about that chick.

And I TOTALLY used to pretend I also had sleep walking in my youth. If I got caught up at night, I’d just mumble and shuffle back to my room and when Mom would tell me about it the next day I’d pretend I had no idea what she was talking about. Because I legitimately talked in my sleep the fact that I’d also be a sleepwalker seemed eminently plausible to her. So thanks, somniloquy- many an X-men was read by the light over the kitchen sink without fear because you provided me a solid alibi.

Oh! And I also still fall asleep holding books. As in… all the time. My husband has quite the collection of pictures of this. Sleep related fun!