But first: how has everyone’s 2021 started? Insurection-y?

So, that wasn’t a fun watch, now was it? Good news here though- they were pretty much all anti-maskers, so it’s been fairly easy to identify them. Let’s collect them all!

I’m glib here- because I’m almost too mad to do anything else, if that makes sense?

Our idiot Trump neighbors … actually wait. Have I talked enough to really paint the picture about them? They still have 2 huge signs on their fence for Trump, multiple smaller ones in their yard, still have 5 giant flags on their truck, and were the ones with the 4′ MAGA hat on their truck cab. Anywho- THOSE idiots. So on January 6th, before the Capitol siege got underway, they went RACING with their truck all decked out to the center of town. Pretty obvious in response to some call to organize that went out on social media. THE STORM HAD STARTED!… or some such bullshit.

Then, in the hours after, there started to be some real weird shit behavior on our street. A Black SUV kept circling the block. Another set of Trumphead neighbors walked slowly down our street, staring at people’s houses and looking in their side yards. (They did this twice.) There were trucks (without flags) idling on corners. I actually walked down to confront the guy idling at the end of the street because that corner is where my daughter gets off the bus. I stared at him and raised my arms in a “what are you doing here” gesture. He stared back, slowly rounded the corner, and stopped and idled at the stop sign one block down.

I stayed and met my daughter on the corner and walked her home. Only later did I realize that guy was originally directly across from our neighbors’ house, who were the Democratic Party heads in this last election. I sent her a text folks were being weird and to be aware of it. Her response: “For fuck’s sake. Thanks for the heads up.”

There is a term called LARPing that applies here. It means Live Action Role Playing and is used to describe the nerds who dress up at Comic-Con and stuff. That shit is EXACTLY what these neighbors stalking around and most of those folks at the Capitol were doing. But they were LARPing about a violent overthrow of the government. They were probably walking on the street, LARPing about how to break into the houses of folks that had previously had democratic signs in their yards. That dude in the idling truck was probably LARPing about staking out the Democratic Party heads so they could be arrested and executed.

Was I scared? Let me try to describe this with an analogy. It’s like getting stalked by a housecat. Cat thinks it’s big enough to take you down. You’re looking at it like “don’t make me throw your 8lb furry ass across the living room, cat.”

It was like that.

But I am more furious than that puts on, too. This is not strength, on their parts. It’s just play acting of strength, but still.

And what that play acting means, of course, is that in the social media echo chambers they are all in to ramp themselves up, some have been talking about repercussions to us, here in this town. “Arresting” us, or worse. Us! Their neighbors, who never did anything… except write that giant “Thank God” on the street when Biden was elected. And that time we drove through a rally with Beck’s song “Loser” blaring. Oh and that one time we interrupted their Trump-train… So like yeah actually, I guess I know why us, now that I write that out. But goddamn, who’s the snowflake now, you goddamn snowflakes!

But all of- ALL of that shit… all it led to was a slight delay in the election certification. Call them what you will, the MAGA crowd (I use Y’all Queda to describe them, myself) all they accomplished was a big fat nothing. They thought they were so strong- blazing around this town/country, wearing those hats everywhere, and now… poof. All for naught.

Is it a wakeup call, this week, for some of them? Maybe. I think seeing their great leader denounce them and that their storm accomplished nothing may shake some reason loose for some.

In my more generous moments I can see that this whole MAGA thing gave them a real sense of identity and community. That they probably didn’t realize how sad and lonely their lives were before, all they realized was how great it felt to be a part of something bigger. But fuck them. I’m seldom able to maintain that level of generosity to shitty, pathetic people for very long.

ANYWAY- how was your Christmas?! Ours was fucking great! I’m too ramped up from writing about that and these 3 cups of coffee I just drank to take the correct tone here!!!

HERE ARE SOME PICTURES!

And then this, from a side trip out to Luckenbach for my husband’s birthday. Rest assured I’m on the hunt for a thornless prickly pear so I can recreate this next year!

And that’s honestly all I got for you on the holiday lights discussion… I was terrible about taking more pictures, and I shoehorn these into this post for the sake of using that blog title, if I’m honest.

Yall stay safe, ya hear? T-minus 11 days and counting till we start heading back to normalcy. After all, Trump did give the White House, the House, and the Senate to the Democrats. Make America Great Again, indeed.