Category parenthood

Insufferable Parenting #489- Of Wood and Plastic

Lauren 4 Comments

Plastic is scary stuff, what with all it’s mimicry of estrogen in the human body. And in fish. And in animals. And… yeah. So I actually think this latest generation will be similar to the last generation that grew up with lead paint and leaded gas- we are very close to a full realization as to how dangerous this stuff is and our behavior as a society and products WILL change to reflect that very soon- of this I believe. *Hand on heart while staring knowingly into the distance. Sunset behind me. Eagle cries ringing overhead.*

BUT- I sure as hell wasn’t going to wait for Johnson and Johnson to make the change for me. So with all the girls- we used glass jar baby food as much as we could. Glass storage containers. Few plastics in the girls eating utensils- no melamine plates, ever, but there were some plastic cups for a short period of time. Those have long been replaced with small glass jelly jars. I buy olive oil in glass jars. I’m… yeah. It’s important to me.

I have gone off the deep end, a BIT, with it with our latest daughter. Metal baby spoons (turns out Oneida makes some still). Organic blankets. Organic crib mattress and mattress pad. I tried glass bottles, but she wouldn’t go for it- but we use the only organic, American made formula once we started supplementing at 7 months when I was just DONE pumping at work 3 times a day. Morning and night we still breast feed though. And yeah, we can’t help but use the plastic baby food pouches, but they’re organic at least- scout’s honor. Wooden toys and teether (she uses the teether to hit the wooden drum and has never once put it in her mouth. But then, she hasn’t been teething yet either, so I’ll hold off saying that $17 was wasted yet. Who am I kidding. Totally was.) Did I order wooden baby bowls and plates? Maybe.

The biggest one- which I could CARE LESS at the expense of- was a 100% wood high chair from Great Britain. Yes- I had a damn high chair shipped from Europe- but the only one I could find in the US was plywood- and hell, that might be worse than plastic. I just plan to turn it into a heirloom. And I figured we saved so much by borrowing baby stuff and not going overboard on swings or other baby gear that we still came out on top. And it may sound like it, but I am not justifying the expense- I’ve never once felt guilty about it- it was totally worth it for my plastic fearing self.

wooden-high-chair-rdymjoxh6

Wooden high chair, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways…

How self righteous does this post sound? Oh god. So very. Here’s my point though. What’s the WORST plastic in the house? The cheap bath toys- can’t seem to find a good alternate to those. What are Mary’s favorite toys? Take a guess. Does she crawl around the house with one in her mouth, INTENT on torturing me? You bet your ass she does.

 

Parenting Advice: Kill the Pajamas

Lauren

Baby sleepers and pajamas are ADORABLE. And I still have some. And my older girls still have pajamas- but DON’T YOU BUY THEM, IT’S A TRAP!!!!!

Look- it’s PERFECTLY acceptable for a baby to sleep in a long sleeve onesie, soft pants and socks. And guess what? You don’t get judge-y looks at the grocery store when they’re still dressed like that at 2 in the afternoon like you would if they were in a sleeper. And besides- diaper changes are easier like that. #somanybuttons

Older Kids: Soft leggings or cotton shorts and a teeshirt- perfectly acceptable to sleep in. And lookie there- that’s looking on the up and up if someone drops in at 2pm (why is it always 2pm? Shrugs.) and they’re still dressed like that! And maybe they go the whole day wearing those clothes! And then that’s an entire outfit (times THREE in our house!) that I don’t have to wash and fold! *Cackles maniacally and then starts crying while looking at laundry pile*

 

TL;DR: Don’t change your pants twice a day. (Is that the real lesson? Read the post then, Lazy.)

Insufferable Parenting… part 2

Lauren

So our seven year old had an idea for a summer job: she wanted to sell flowers around the neighborhood, and  I love it. She planted some zinnias, we already had a bunch of cosmos, and we let some self sown sunflowers go eight-foot-tall-nuts in the backyard. Saved some jars (caper jars are the best) and a business is born.

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And if my husband and I lose our jobs she’ll support the family with this… because she has not had anyone tell her no so far. I’ve never seen a more successful salesman!

We get to spend time together picking flowers and making arrangements. I’m teaching her about filler foliage (mint is the best, but fennel and germander are good too) and about proper proportions… it’s nice.

Nobody really wants lemonade made with grubby little hands and questionable food safety practices, but flowers… heck. The world could always use more flowers.

Recovery Day

Lauren 3 Comments

So. I just had my tubes tied yesterday… again. Which may I just say, hurts a hell of a lot more than they let on. To be totally honest, I didn’t have my tubes tied this time as much as I had them totally taken out (failed clips and all). “Look at me, I’m so svelte, I just lost 3 oz!” #pleasenomorefuckingbabies

Here are my pets- moral support and enthusiastic participants in a full day in bed next to me. Psst. One of you slackers go pick up that sock.

And I took NO painkillers with codeine this time. I did last time and I felt AWFUL for 3 days. I’m only taking Motrin this time (did after this last birth too) and I feel awesome. What the hell, doctors? Does codeine even work? Or does it just make you high? Is that the point? Because I hate it and it worked way worse for pain control and kept me up at night. #straightarrowstickinthemud

Anyhoo- maybe I’ll catch up on blogging. Or maybe I’ll just drink coffee and eat pineapple. And try not to keep seeing that the scars on my stomach now look like an upside down Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Ugh. Try unseeing that for the rest of your life… #I’mmyownRorchachetest

#whatthehellIhatehashtagswhyamIusingthem

 

Why? And How?

Lauren

Parenting Mysteries:

Why do bibs have tags? Every damn bib has a tag. It’s not like we need the laundering instructions or anything- no bib ever should be dry clean only. And they don’t list sizes- so, WHY?

How do infants toenails get dirty? In her 10 weeks on the planet I’ve never set this child on the ground without a blanket under her… and yet her toenails are dirty. She can’t freaking walk…so, HOW?

And WHAT is UP with AIRLINE peanuts?! Yes, yes- this post is basically just 90s era Jerry Seinfeld.